All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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