Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
what day is it and did you see me today?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize