No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
