Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
