what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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