At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
