that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
