You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
