we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize