Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry princesarana hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(212): View more from New York

that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final

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(303): View more from Colorado

How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend

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(410): View more from Maryland

Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.

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(361): View more from Texas

Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.

(713): View more from Texas

You sure know how to pick em.

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