I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
