just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
