Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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