I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
