I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize