Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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