I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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