So drunk, too bad you don't want this
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
