Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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