Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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