I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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