I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
