yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
