Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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