Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We're facebook friends in real life
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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