we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
