You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
