I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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