Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
