Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
