I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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