Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
