Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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