I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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