Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
