i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i permit you to call me
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
