I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
