she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I have feelings that need drinking.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
