dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
