no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
