That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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