and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
