Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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