We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize