I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize