David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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