yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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