i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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