Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
