At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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