Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
