It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
How many fucks given?
0.12846
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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