I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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