i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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