gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
