better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
