U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize