i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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