His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
