Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just want nice things and good sex
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
